When to Say I Love You for the First Time


Some things make one feel ecstatic beyond comparison. One of them is hearing the words “I love you” from the person you are keen on. However, it isn’t easy to say these words of love because they need much thought. You may find yourself feeling more attracted to your partner but wonder about the right time to confess your feelings.

The question when to say I love you for the first time is often on the minds of many. When said at the right time, these words strengthen your bond. They also open the doors to a serious and lasting relationship.

In this article, we’ll help you figure out the right moment to say these words.

How Soon Should You Say ‘’I Love You?’’

There is no set time before saying ‘’I love you’’ to a person. Some people say it very quickly. But we advise that you wait till you feel fully ready and secure in your relationship. Granted, sometimes you may say ‘’I love you’’ naturally. This generally occurs if there is mutual affection from both sides.

Generally, saying ‘’I love you’’ becomes natural when you feel safe in your relationship. Another aspect of saying these words is when you find out that what you feel is real love and not infatuation. You can understand whether what you are feeling is love or infatuation by spending quality time with your partner.

Sometimes, the actions of the other person may touch your heart, and ‘’I love you’’ will naturally roll off your tongue. However, it’s not advisable to jump into saying ‘’I love you’’ too soon. If you think you do not know the other person well enough, saying these words will not be a good idea.

How To Find If You Are Saying I Love You Too Soon?

Saying ‘’I love you’’ when you don’t know the other person adequately is never a good idea. If you are considering saying these three words to a person, find out whether you really know how they treat others.

Do you know how they treat their family and friends? Generally, how they treat them is how they will treat you if you marry them. It’s also important to see how they behave with strangers. If you think they are arrogant, you may expect the same behavior toward yourself in the future.

Also, it’s best not to say ‘’I love you’’ if you haven’t spent time accomplishing your goals and responsibilities together. You must spend time doing difficult things together and see their responses to different situations.

Factors to Consider When Saying I Love You for the First Time

Here are the three factors that will help you easily decide when to say I love you for the first time.

  1. Emotional passion: Emotional passion means you genuinely like the person both physically and mentally. Passionate love is quite strong. It makes you feel alive, euphoric, and excited. This is one factor to consider when saying I love you to your partner for the first time.
  2. Physical and emotional intimacy: Physical intimacy, followed by emotional intimacy, is essential to call yourself in love. Besides being sexually intimate, you must also be able to talk openly about deep things together. This kind of intimacy is crucial to saying the three words of affection.
  3. committed relationship: Have you talked about being exclusive with your partner? If yes, you can say I love you to them. But if not, its better to spend some more time with them.

What Is the Right Moment to Say I Love You for the First Time

If you are sure that it is love and not a temporary attraction you feel for a person, prepare yourself to say I love you. There is no perfect time to say I love you. However, you must say these words solely to your partner when you have their complete attention. It means saying these words in a place where only you both are there. It’s never wise to say this statement after being drunk or after being sexually intimate.

This is because you are very emotional during such moments. This is also the reason why we don’t suggest that you say these words in the initial months of your relationship.

Who Usually Says I Love You First?

In most cultures, it is men who say I love you first. Various studies have shown that men are the first ones to say these words because they tend to feel love first. In fact, psychologists have found that men can start feeling love as early as a couple of weeks into a relationship. On the contrary, women take a significantly longer time to fall in love.

This is also linked to the biology of women. They do not confess their feelings until they adequately assess their partner’s value. This is the women’s protective mechanism. Also, it has been found that men tend to say I love you even when they aren’t fully sure of it. They do this to boost their reproductive chances.

It has been found that men who said I love you before sex only did so to gain their partner’s trust. Some also say these words to gain short-term romantic relationships. On the other hand, it has been found that women become extremely alert when they hear I love you too early. Many women interpret these words if uttered too early in a relationship, as insincere.

For women, declarations of love only make sense when they are uttered sometime later after they have spent considerable time together.

What If Your Partner Doesn’t Say I Love You Back

If your partner doesn’t say I love you back, you might feel hurt. But it doesn’t mean the end of a relationship. It simply means that your partner needs time to feel the same love you feel for them. At such points, instead of feeling disheartened, reflect on how you can grow your emotional connection with them.

Do not rush this process or be in a hurry to prompt your partner to reciprocate your feelings. Just focus on making them feel safe and fostering feelings of intimacy.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is three months too early to say I love you?

Three months is the ideal time to say I love you. This duration is adequate for most people to find out if they have strong feelings for another person who is not infatuated. In fact, most men are reported to say I love within a span of three months.

2. How do I know he loves me?

There are several signs that indicate that your partner loves you. He will prioritize spending quality time with you. He will be willing to help you in whatever way he can. Moreover, he will not be shy in communicating his true feelings to you.

3. How do I know if I’m in love?

One of the first things you will feel for someone whom you love is compassion. You will also find yourself wanting to know the person in more detail. Those who are in love tend to want to take care of their partner and also want them to be taken care of by the person they love.

4. Is one month too soon to say I love you?

For most, one month is a bit too soon to say I love you. It is because you are still getting to know the other person. However, that is not to say that it is wrong. If you feel that you have deep feelings for the person and saying I love you feels natural to you even in a month, you can undoubtedly confess your feelings.

The Bottom Line

When to say I love you for the first time, it varies for everyone. But one thing is important. You must be sure that you are genuinely in love with that person. Your feelings should not be temporary or on the surface level. You must know in your heart that the person to whom you confess your feelings is the one you desire.